Things feel different now. I know the love is there, undeniable. In my minds eye, I see a future with a house, children, a loving wife and a warmth only our family can produce. I have this feeling of hope that that dream will come true and we both want it, regardless of what anyone says... Right?
... Right???
That's the thing that feels different. I mere month ago, these feelings were mutual, now I'm the only one with this hope, alone. The faces are the same but the heart and touch that are usually felt have been modified to something more unfamiliar and cold. Moments of silence, once welcomed with great comfort, now are dreaded and feared. A month ago we were laughing and playing around, now we've become those couples I have never wanted to become. Where did things go wrong?
I understood there were things I needed to work on and to the best of my knowledge... I did. My mindset has been... set. Goals installed and were ready to be accomplished. Baby steps to being a productive, successful adult were happening... Yet here we are. Quiet, distant, sad. I tried and I tried but it feel like I'm throwing water against a brick wall with a raging fire on the other side. I miss her so much.
The smiles she made when she tricked me in her cute way. The way she curled her fingers when she ate pizza on movie night. The look she gave me when she knew I was staring at her beautiful face. They're still there, I'm still here. Please, let's do something about this.
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